Happy Birthday!

Dad.. on your birthday, I just wanted to tell you..


I learned from you that
I had wings to fly,
up above the sky so high.

I learned from you that
I had the strength,
to lift the world by its girth.

I learned from you that
I had to stand my ground,
for all those values that are sound.

I learned from you that
I had to believe,
in myself for as long as I live.

I learned from you that
I had to be grateful,
for the blessings which were always plentiful.

But most importantly, Dad..
You showered your unconditional love on me,
and for that I am eternally indebted to thee.

All my love,
Daddys little princess <3

For you..

Be my light when darkness descends,
And my shadow when there is light.
Be my wings when I feel down,
And my anchor when I fly high.
Be my strength when I feel vulnerable,
And my vulnerability when I am strong.
Be my hope when despair fills,
And my beliefs when hope returns.
Be my smile when all is lost,
And my tears when my smile evades.
My love, let my forever be yours,
And be mine forever.

Prince Charming and his White Horse..

"What is it about this notion of prince charming and a happily ever after that is so alluring and captivating? Why is it that every girl has a vivid image of her dream prince who will come and rescue her from the `traumatic’ troubles of life, the man who will free her from all bondage and suffering, the king whose kingdom she shall rule as queen? And in spite of knowing fully well that such a man is too good to be true, ironically enough, she waits for that moment when life as she knows it will end, when on meeting this fictional character from her fantasy, her life would be divided into two distinct eras– the time before `him’ and the happily ever after with `him’. And it is in the pursuit of this happily ever after that her heart flutters with hope, her eyes look longingly at the road ahead and she asks herself at the faintest glimpse of his shadow, “Is it him? Is it time?” As a girl who has been told fairy tales with princes’ and princesses’ with happily ever afters’, I feel terribly wronged by this society which has carved this seemingly unattainable ideal as the only road to happiness... As a girl who has had her share of heart breaks and has broken more than her share of hearts, I feel wounded and somehow lack the strength and conviction to believe in this old wives tale anymore..." - Diary late 2008

Or so i thought. But I've had enough skirmishes with my heart to know that I'll always wait for my prince charming and I also know he wont be anything like I imagined.. but that I'll grow to love him more than anything and put him ahead of myself. Every cute guy who makes me go 'ouch' coz hes cute enough to hurt my eyes or an adorable angel of a guy who makes me go ' awww..' reaffirms my faith that my guy is somewhere out there, he's just with all the wrong girls. And as betrayed as I might feel, the good old dream can always nurse me back to health and it keeps the dream alive.. Ahh.. the vicious circle, but I like this one.. gives me a reason to smile.. :)

Birdies and creepy crawlies..

Its amazing how much a quiet nap sandwiched between a green canopy of trees and a prickly lawn can change views and perceptions... Sleeping in mother natures' lap with the birdies singing me a soft lullaby (I swear i'll kill Aks for streaming Akon on a loop on loud through the window).. how refreshing!! Of course my worst fear was that I'd wake up completely swamped by creepy crawlies.. Eeeks! Even thinking about it gives me jitters! Falling asleep in the beginning was close to impossible.. I felt so excited.. listening to the birds.. watching the clouds speed by and the soft warmth of the sun light filtered by the trees.. It felt calm.. peaceful.. like everything stood still for that moment.. for me.. In a day and age where speed is all that matters, it was an astounding revelation to find that standing still will not kill you. Thoughts of an impending exam.. or of a horribly written paper didn't matter anymore. In that moment.. sleeping in that lawn.. I felt alone yet connected to every living being..

I don't know how long I lay there wondering about little nothings before I feel into a contented dreamless sleep.. but I do know this.. the last thing I heard was the sound of an eagles call.. and for that moment I wished I could sprout wings and glide as elegantly as he did in the gentle summer breeze that was ruffling my hair. I woke up to the annoying ring of my phone, mom trying to wake me up, I knew. But as I opened my eyes, I saw the moon.. For how long did I sleep? I didn't know.. and strangely, it didn't matter.. The moon looked radiant and beautiful, captivating every thought my mind was struggling to come up with to explain where I was and what I was doing there.. It was lulling me back into the gentle comfort of my blissful stupor. But my phone had decided otherwise. Wake up, I must.. and I did. Grateful as I was to find that no creepy crawly thing was anywhere near me, I knew it wouldn't be long before the mosquitoes began their feast. As I left the lawn, a rueful smile framed my lips. It hit me. The well tended lawn was there for about 2 years and not once did I ever sleep there. And as ironic as it may sound, I know I most probably won't till some summer evening I lie down exhausted and exasperated in that garden and let mother nature work her magic all over again while I wonder why I don't do this more often.

Till life gives me another beautiful memory...
All my love to the cosmos.

Blogs and Bloggers...

"I have always wanted to write a blog.. to tell the world what I think cause I know what I have to say is important and that it means something." Or so I thought for quite some time... Its only recently that I have begun to realize that seldom does the world notice or care about what you have to say if you havent said something meaningful or profound before. That being the case.. how does this seemingly defeatist cycle break? It breaks now.. with this post.. I hope someone somewhere will find the conflicting elements of my personality endearing or those already in my life will find it enlightening.. :P

While I continue to struggle to understand why some posts obviously meant/addressed to specific people never end up reaching that person on time (I mean wasnt the whole point of the blog to let the other person know what you have been through or are going through?) I write this blog knowing that the people who really matter will never need to open this to understand me.. For everyone else.. Hold my hand and walk with me.. I promise a memorable journey to the depths of my being..

Until tomorrow..
All my love to the cosmos..